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Thursday, 21 November 2013
At Melissa's blog...
why?: Why Is There Violence Against Women?: It sickens me every time I hear about it. Yet it continues to happen. I entered a book contest and got a letter back from a lovely women...
Monday, 18 November 2013
[book:I Want Back My Sparkle!: Breaking the Global Chains of Gender Slavery.|18429168]
Hey SPARKLE Fan,
You showed interest and participated in the giveaway contest of my book. I want to thank you for that and inform you that although the giveaway is over now, you can purchase the paperback and ebook on a MASIVE DISCOUNT to celebrate the INTERNATIONAL DAY OF ELIMINATION OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN on 25th November. http://www.shahla-khan.com/apps/webstore/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkIMLhEwqRo
I wish you all the best.
Regards and keep SPARKLING
Shahla
Hey SPARKLE Fan,
You showed interest and participated in the giveaway contest of my book. I want to thank you for that and inform you that although the giveaway is over now, you can purchase the paperback and ebook on a MASIVE DISCOUNT to celebrate the INTERNATIONAL DAY OF ELIMINATION OF VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN on 25th November. http://www.shahla-khan.com/apps/webstore/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HkIMLhEwqRo
I wish you all the best.
Regards and keep SPARKLING
Shahla
CONGRATULATIONS WINNERS!!!
Hey fans,
I must say it is overwhelming that 970 of you participated and showed your love and interest in the recent GIVEAWAY COMPETITION of my book on goodreads.com!
I must say it is overwhelming that 970 of you participated and showed your love and interest in the recent GIVEAWAY COMPETITION of my book on goodreads.com!
Randomly selected winners are zill-e-ursh nayyer from Pakistan and Michelle Yanney from LA.
I wish you both congratulations on the win and hope to see your reviews very soon.
So, keep SPARKLING ladies...
Saturday, 16 November 2013
ARE YOU RICH AND HAPPY OR BROKE AND SAD?
LETS TALK SOME SERIOUS PHILOSOPHY STUFF TODAY....
This world has two kinds of people in general. The happy ones and the sad ones. Although this seems pretty straight forward but this happiness and sadness have deeper meanings. May be by the end of the article you can understand better about these people.
Let's talk about the happy people first. These are the people you see at luxury resorts, men at Casino Royale and ladies at Dior stores. These people ride Porsche and Mazarati. They live in swimming pool villas and fly business class. When you look at them, you wonder if you could be like them one day. They have so many material gains around them. These are like magnets which attract materialistic people who want to be associated with the happy people to be happy.
Now, you would say that I am making an assumption that money brings happiness and every rich person in the world must be happy. No, this isnt true! There is a major difference which distinguishes these happy and sad people. The happy people with all the success and material gains are usually (not always), the people who love themselves more than anything.
These people appear to have a perfect life. And to be honest, it is perfect technically. They have houses, cars, relationships and settle at perfect times. On the other hand are the sad people. The people who have to struggle to pay their bills, no swimming pool bunglows and if at all, they fly economy. No one would look at them and wish it was their life.
Pretty straight forwrd until now. But what about love? Sad people are the ones who love others. It could be their family or a stranger who is a happy person. This is the complicated part about happiness and sadness. Sad people are not necessarily at the top of their work because they care about the people around them. Policitcs, jealousy and evil will always play with their trust on people, faith on God and love for their close ones. They may take longer to reach their destiny because of these extra tests and trials. They will be let down by people, broken hearted and ditched sometimes. But sincel ife does not give much choice and has to go on, they continue doing what they are good at- loving others and being sad.
Happy ones will feel empowered initially. They fool the sad people around and enjoy their success; material or otherwise. They act and pretend to like those people only, who give them more in return. They will bow to the wrong people intentionally, just to be on the good books. They make relationships with people who can give them more, may be name, fame, wealth or other satisfactions. They can step over anyones feelings just to get satisfied.
Its all cool until the rest of their lives, sometimes. People spend decades, feeding their greedy selves and enjoying. But mostly, once in a lifetime, comes a moment, when they realize how empty the happiness is; which is self generated. You have ten varieties on your dining table but you dont feel hungry. You do eat, but just to keep yourself alive. Because you see it daily, that is routine, not pleasure. It is actually simple "optimum utility concept", from Economics. Let's say you are not lonely and do have a partner to share the meal with. But in depth of your heart, you know that this partner is here because there are ten dishes on the table. If there was just one or none, they would never be with you. So, the happiness which I mentioned in the first paragraph, was an illusion.Many people spend their whole lives in this illusion because they are cowards. They live in this illusion because they want to neglect their emptiness and poverty.
Now let's talk about the sad people. Have you ever seen what happens when you give a small chocolate to a kid on the street? Have you ever seen an old age father whose children win a scholarship? How about ever craving for something for weeks,months or years and finally achieving it? These are true happy moments of sad people. They may take longer to come, but its only becuase they are real. There are may be very few people around to love a sad person. But this sad person knows that even if they dont have money, name, job, sexy body or even life; they would still be loved. This true lover might take long to enter their lives, but when they do come, they never leave. So, the sad people live in this relaity which keeps them going. It gives them the courage to step out of bed every morning and give a tough fight to the tests and trials of life.
Thus, happy people are actually empty. Sad people have a lot to worry but they are filled. To care about others and to love someone is difficult. It takes a lot of courage, patience, time and sacrifices to love some one other than yourself. But its worth it no matter how much you love yourself, when the time comes, you cannot do your own funeral and pay others to cry for you.
'BE SAD BUT LOVE OTHERS- THATS THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS'...
This world has two kinds of people in general. The happy ones and the sad ones. Although this seems pretty straight forward but this happiness and sadness have deeper meanings. May be by the end of the article you can understand better about these people.
Let's talk about the happy people first. These are the people you see at luxury resorts, men at Casino Royale and ladies at Dior stores. These people ride Porsche and Mazarati. They live in swimming pool villas and fly business class. When you look at them, you wonder if you could be like them one day. They have so many material gains around them. These are like magnets which attract materialistic people who want to be associated with the happy people to be happy.
Now, you would say that I am making an assumption that money brings happiness and every rich person in the world must be happy. No, this isnt true! There is a major difference which distinguishes these happy and sad people. The happy people with all the success and material gains are usually (not always), the people who love themselves more than anything.
These people appear to have a perfect life. And to be honest, it is perfect technically. They have houses, cars, relationships and settle at perfect times. On the other hand are the sad people. The people who have to struggle to pay their bills, no swimming pool bunglows and if at all, they fly economy. No one would look at them and wish it was their life.
Pretty straight forwrd until now. But what about love? Sad people are the ones who love others. It could be their family or a stranger who is a happy person. This is the complicated part about happiness and sadness. Sad people are not necessarily at the top of their work because they care about the people around them. Policitcs, jealousy and evil will always play with their trust on people, faith on God and love for their close ones. They may take longer to reach their destiny because of these extra tests and trials. They will be let down by people, broken hearted and ditched sometimes. But sincel ife does not give much choice and has to go on, they continue doing what they are good at- loving others and being sad.
Happy ones will feel empowered initially. They fool the sad people around and enjoy their success; material or otherwise. They act and pretend to like those people only, who give them more in return. They will bow to the wrong people intentionally, just to be on the good books. They make relationships with people who can give them more, may be name, fame, wealth or other satisfactions. They can step over anyones feelings just to get satisfied.
Its all cool until the rest of their lives, sometimes. People spend decades, feeding their greedy selves and enjoying. But mostly, once in a lifetime, comes a moment, when they realize how empty the happiness is; which is self generated. You have ten varieties on your dining table but you dont feel hungry. You do eat, but just to keep yourself alive. Because you see it daily, that is routine, not pleasure. It is actually simple "optimum utility concept", from Economics. Let's say you are not lonely and do have a partner to share the meal with. But in depth of your heart, you know that this partner is here because there are ten dishes on the table. If there was just one or none, they would never be with you. So, the happiness which I mentioned in the first paragraph, was an illusion.Many people spend their whole lives in this illusion because they are cowards. They live in this illusion because they want to neglect their emptiness and poverty.
Now let's talk about the sad people. Have you ever seen what happens when you give a small chocolate to a kid on the street? Have you ever seen an old age father whose children win a scholarship? How about ever craving for something for weeks,months or years and finally achieving it? These are true happy moments of sad people. They may take longer to come, but its only becuase they are real. There are may be very few people around to love a sad person. But this sad person knows that even if they dont have money, name, job, sexy body or even life; they would still be loved. This true lover might take long to enter their lives, but when they do come, they never leave. So, the sad people live in this relaity which keeps them going. It gives them the courage to step out of bed every morning and give a tough fight to the tests and trials of life.
Thus, happy people are actually empty. Sad people have a lot to worry but they are filled. To care about others and to love someone is difficult. It takes a lot of courage, patience, time and sacrifices to love some one other than yourself. But its worth it no matter how much you love yourself, when the time comes, you cannot do your own funeral and pay others to cry for you.
'BE SAD BUT LOVE OTHERS- THATS THE SECRET TO HAPPINESS'...
Coming home for summer?
Coming home for summer?
Well, its a long story, you see!
I get asked this question often,
When the sunshine is warm and pleasant,
People pack up and leave in haste,
For that family reunion bliss.
I remember how home felt,
The fragrance of Biryani in the air,
Mom, busy preparing to welcome me,
Dad arranging a proxy at his office,
For a day off, so he could pick me,
My five year old brother jumping with joy,
For the toys I would bring as gifts.
When I left home he was an infant,
I remember the day of my departure,
I did not even go to his room,
He was asleep and I was too weak.
I wanna go home, play with him,
Gossip and chat with mom on lazy afternoons,
Cook chinese for Dad, who doesnt have a choice,
but to admire my cooking...
Christmas passed and so did summer,
I weep alone, live in fear.
Fear that sooner or later they will give me away,
And then, I may not be able to see them...
People ask questions, put undue pressure
As if marraige is the only pleasure.
But once you are with a man,
Your priorities change, your time is scarce.
Conflicts arise, bans implemented,
Blood relationships wither like a dry flower.
A daughter is considered a known stranger,
A wife is treated like an imposter.
I AM NONE!
So, I built my own lonely world,
I sleep alone, I eat alone, I live alone.
I do miss mying on Moms lap,
and also ball dancing with Dad without music.
Afternoons of patting my baby brother to sleep,
Shedding a tear or two thinking about separation,
And then falling asleep, pressing him to my chest
And holding his tiny hands in mine...
I am 27, I know am not a little girl anymore,
One day I will have to marry and exit my parents home,
But I am not anyones property,
I am the same little girl who danced around this house,
ruined Momys lipsticks and baked caked for Dad with tiny hands...
There might be a great guy waiting,
To hold mg hand firm at the aisle,
But I cant let go my Dads hand,
Just to go and hold another...
I have two hands
I want to keep holding my Dads too.
The very same hands which held me
when I fell down and broke my knee.
Those hands have wrinkles now
And each passing day, they loose sturdiness.
They need to be held firmly,
They need me.
Please don't ask me again,
If I am going home for summer...
Well, its a long story, you see!
I get asked this question often,
When the sunshine is warm and pleasant,
People pack up and leave in haste,
For that family reunion bliss.
I remember how home felt,
The fragrance of Biryani in the air,
Mom, busy preparing to welcome me,
Dad arranging a proxy at his office,
For a day off, so he could pick me,
My five year old brother jumping with joy,
For the toys I would bring as gifts.
When I left home he was an infant,
I remember the day of my departure,
I did not even go to his room,
He was asleep and I was too weak.
I wanna go home, play with him,
Gossip and chat with mom on lazy afternoons,
Cook chinese for Dad, who doesnt have a choice,
but to admire my cooking...
Christmas passed and so did summer,
I weep alone, live in fear.
Fear that sooner or later they will give me away,
And then, I may not be able to see them...
People ask questions, put undue pressure
As if marraige is the only pleasure.
But once you are with a man,
Your priorities change, your time is scarce.
Conflicts arise, bans implemented,
Blood relationships wither like a dry flower.
A daughter is considered a known stranger,
A wife is treated like an imposter.
I AM NONE!
So, I built my own lonely world,
I sleep alone, I eat alone, I live alone.
I do miss mying on Moms lap,
and also ball dancing with Dad without music.
Afternoons of patting my baby brother to sleep,
Shedding a tear or two thinking about separation,
And then falling asleep, pressing him to my chest
And holding his tiny hands in mine...
I am 27, I know am not a little girl anymore,
One day I will have to marry and exit my parents home,
But I am not anyones property,
I am the same little girl who danced around this house,
ruined Momys lipsticks and baked caked for Dad with tiny hands...
There might be a great guy waiting,
To hold mg hand firm at the aisle,
But I cant let go my Dads hand,
Just to go and hold another...
I have two hands
I want to keep holding my Dads too.
The very same hands which held me
when I fell down and broke my knee.
Those hands have wrinkles now
And each passing day, they loose sturdiness.
They need to be held firmly,
They need me.
Please don't ask me again,
If I am going home for summer...
Monday, 4 November 2013
Are you single???
Are you single ?
“Ever thine,
Ever mine
Ever ours…”
Sounds touchy, isn’t it?
Beethoven wrote these sometime in the past for his beloved and we all learnt
about these in the film Sex and the City and we all fell in love with these
words. Who does not want a man write these to them and kindle the romance on
Valentine’s Day, when the whole world is turned red and white? This all sounds
really good until you come across the basic fact that for all the romance, and
love, you need a person to replicate the feelings: the only flaw in an almost
perfect picture. I say it flaw because this is the tough part.
As says a Hindi
proverb, you can find God probably but you can hardly find true love. Being
single on Valentine’s Day rubs salt on wounds and not every person feels proud
to say it is OK to be single. Since the beginning of February, every year, when
I notice the trees begin to prepare in welcome of new blossoms, the air fills
with rose fragrances and all around I see red and white balloons, cards and
flowers, it just melts my heart. It is amazing how much commercialization of
feelings adds to the charm of the occasion. But honestly, a partner with a
heart flowing with love is as good as a 10kg black forest cake, a large I LOVE
YOU card, a bouquet made of 500 red roses and a stunning piece of jewellery
from Pandora.
If you neither have a partner nor
all this lovely stuff, it is a great time! I say great time because it is time
for you to sit back and think: what is
the reason for you being single? How happy are you being single? Is this what
you want from life? If you want to mingle, is it just to avoid being single for
the sake of it or do you have genuine reasons to find a partner?
There is no right or wrong
answers to these questions. It is all about what makes you feel happy. If you
feel happy being single, then acknowledge it and do not feel embarrassed about
it. If you are more of a sharing person and need someone to cuddle, then look
for someone who wants the same. The
worst and most often seen case is when people end up with people who are
absolutely different from them. If you are single and want to date in future,
make sure you set your priorities straight with the guy. Otherwise you would
end up single again very soon by the incompatibility. And all those depression
related Ben and Jerry’s Baked Alaska ice cream will not help, neither would
Ferrero Roucher or Thornton’s. So, what is it that would help?
10 steps to finding LOVE forever:
1.
Set your priorities straight when you are not
worried or angry.
2.
Let go every single hurt from the past and clear
your mind of all the pain and guilt. I know it is not easy but reading “Who
moved my Cheese” can help a lot.
3.
Set your reasons straight for dating or partner
search. Make sure you have genuine reasons not stupid crappy reasons like “he
looks so cool” or “he has got a big car”. Looks and cars do not help when you
fall and get hurt.
4.
When you do meet someone new, and they take
interest in you, show them the real you. What is a person good for if you need
to pretend, just to keep them happy?
5.
If you show your real self and the person seem
to like you, get them talking: ask them what are they looking for exactly and
question yourself if you can be that person. If you cannot, be polite and share
your feelings honestly. It is better to break their heart now but break their
life after sometime.
6.
If all goes well, then you are off to a new
beginning. While you explore the new world of companionship and red roses, do
keep in mind that “roses hurt”. Remember that no one is perfect and you will
feel hurt sometimes. There will be arguments and misunderstandings, every
relationship has. But this time you will realize, that if your reasons for
choosing them were genuine, you will find a matured and sensible way to sort
out, forgive and forget your issues. If your reasons were “because she looks
hot” or “because he drives a Porsche”, this is where it will all fall apart
like a stack of cards.
7.
If you are still together after the fights and
learn to live in harmony, do not just sit back and relax. Ursula Le Guin says “Love doesn't just sit
there, like a stone;
it had to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” Romance dies after a while and what you live is a daily routine life. It seems easy but that is the actual tough part. If both partners do not keep putting enough fuel to keep the candle burning, one will soon find themselves looking for Joey Greco from the program “Cheaters”.
it had to be made, like bread, remade all the time, made new.” Romance dies after a while and what you live is a daily routine life. It seems easy but that is the actual tough part. If both partners do not keep putting enough fuel to keep the candle burning, one will soon find themselves looking for Joey Greco from the program “Cheaters”.
8.
Change is the part of life. Events occur,
feelings change and so do people. If you offer all the love and romance
following point no 7 above, but do not get the same back, see the yellow
signals. You need to be patient to understand if your partner is going through
a tough time or need space, but if over a long period of time, you find
yourself sacrificing and no efforts from the opposite side, it is climax time.
Always remember, if it cannot be replicated, it is not “love”, it is
“services”. Communicate and try to work things out being non judgmental and
accommodating.
9.
If any of your priorities have changed and do
not see things work out between you two despite the efforts and communication,
it is time. It is better to mutually and cooperatively take separate ways than
to smear each other with muddy insults and public embarrassment.
10.
If you can live through all this and still feel
the same warmth on your cheeks you felt when you first heard them say “I love
you”, this is a message to not let go and fight against life for them. Not many
people reach to point 10 and often have to start over from 1 after they reach
point 4 or maximum 5. But only if your partner is a match made in Heaven, you
can make it till point 10. Don’t let them go.
In life, more than finding the
Mr. Right or Miss right, it is about being right first. If you can manage to be
right, then every day can be a Valentine’s Day, every hour can be a Valentines
hour and every minute can be a Valentines minute. All filled with roses,
romance and happiness. Remember, every single person is as lonely as you are
and everyone appreciates a loving hug, a welcome smile and a listening ear. It
is really that simple, if only people learn to replicate it, the world would
not be that lonely you see.
To all those who are in love, and
who hope to be one day- Happy and loving Valentine’s Day!
PUBLISHED IN CARDIFF TIMES 14.02.2013
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