Who in the World does not want to have Sex?

Who in the world does not want to have sex?

Many! Find out what is wrong or right with you if you are one of them.

Sex is all about desire and passion but there is no guarantee that this passion will remain constant. One night stands are not counted in here because women may reject that package of sex just for moral reasons. But if in a serious relationship, be it as girl/boy friend or as a married couple, if there is a situation when your man is looking at the book of 101 positions and you are reading the 102 excuses book, there is certainly something there which needs attention.

Little things

The first and foremost reason is the little things that happen in your daily routine. It is the little things that make the major impact on your brain and signal your body into a closure phase. For example, if your man has done a series of things; left the towel on bed, make you cook and wash, spend all night watching football, made funny remarks about your dress or work etc, this will put you off. If you analyze each one of these excuses individually, you may not feel that the act is a deal breaker. No one gives a divorce for dropping towels on the floor, except for a celebrity may be. But most women hang on until something big happens to pop the ultimate question- I need a divorce or I am breaking up with you.

Although these little things do not lead you to divorce, they certainly cause a huge effect on your mood and of course the relationship. Have you noticed how you take your anger out on someone when the person who had upset you in the first place was absolutely someone else? Human beings act in a weird way and a series of little things against you can kill your intimacy towards your man. Men do not realize this because by nature men do not go into the details. They move on much quicker and may not even realize most of the times that they have hurt you. And many times if you complain, they will blame you for whining and nagging all the time.

Let me straight with you here girl! There is no right or wrong in this situation. If you feel agitated by your man, you are not moaner lisa, you are a perfectly normal woman. Men may call you ‘control freak’ but according to experience, 95% of women are control freaks. That means all women are control freaks. This does not mean that they are crazy; it only means that they pay attention to details and like to organize their work and life in a certain way. In business world, it is a highly prized skill. If your man does not appreciate you for that, he is not seeing the whole you.

Anyway, if you are happy the way you are and expressing your mood killer to your man makes him angry or defensive, now is the time to make a decision. Either you chose to go with his flow and accept his little nuisances as a part of life or you walk away. Yes, right now it may seem as not a huge reason to walk away but do you want to waste 3 more years for the reason to grow and then amputate the relationship?

Tina and Jeremy were in love like crazy. They had a long distance relationship and they were happy. When they met on vacations, they made love and grew as a happy couple. All the way long, Jeremy was a big fan of cricket matches. He spend most of his time watching cricket updates, following players on the social media and connecting with other cricket lovers. Apart from cricket, he would spend time with his laptop browsing all sorts of things. In the beginning, Tina did not see this as a habit because of the short time they spent with each other. After a considerable amount of their time together, Tina felt the heat. Jeremy was great, took care of her; but those moments when he spent time on laptop browsing useless non work related stuff, she needed his attention. In the beginning, she failed to see this as a big deal but after 3 years it turned out to be a deal breaker. Every time they met, Jeremy would either sleep or browse. He did not express his love or feelings and did not understand that the girl sitting next to him was weeping. Later on in bed, he would hug her and make attempt to consummate love; guess what? She hated him.

What do you get?

The second reason in the list is the give and take. What do you get in return? This may sound weird to ask this question in a serious relationship but trust me, it is important. NO relationship survives one way! Every, even the best of relationships are give and take which is actually the fair way to deal. Women by nature are givers; if they see a man is making a tiny effort, they will do twice more. But when all of a sudden the giving becomes one way, the major impact comes to sex.

You must have read and seen, if not been there, that when the woman is tired of work and kitchen all day, she is barely in the mood for running the sheets in the night. It gets even more complicated when kids wake you up pre dawn. But it is not always true. In a relationship, you DO things for the other person even when sometimes you are not totally UP for it. For example, your man is really tired from work but takes you shopping or for a drive to your favorite ice cream shop after dinner, just to cheer you up. He absolutely hates going out but he did it for you. You value his effort and later in bed when you may not be UP for it, you would give in to make him happy. Admit it or not, this is how relationships work. It must not be totally calculative though, but no one can deny that it is much easier to be nice to someone who has been nice to you.

It is also not hidden that many women get into relationships, plainly for financial reasons. I may not quote the Play boy Mansion relationships particularly but yes, women do get into relationships with men plainly to get material gains from them. In that case, whether or not the woman may feel the desire for sex, the desire for other gains will push her to bed. She may even pretend to be in a real relationship. This is where women train for those fake orgasms because real pleasure does not embrace fake bodies. May be lust can create the spark few times in the beginning, but very soon the spark will die and then the woman will only be calculating what would she gain by getting in bed.

Which way?

Sex is the glue which keeps couples together. The feeling of being exclusive to one person in the entire planet and one person being there only and only for you is highly romantic. It adds to the passion and desire in a relationship. But it requires sharing a comfort zone while doing the act. This comfort zone is the level of understanding and care the partners who for each other. Specially in serious relationships where partners have been together for a while, sex becomes a routine and more complicated.

Firstly, let’s talk about pleasure. Men must be really, really skilled at sex, much more than women. Why? Because of the physiological fact about female orgasm. Greek Mythology prophet Tiresias made it clear that a woman gets 9 times more pleasure than man during the orgasm and this was also supported by the status orgasmus scientific research according to which, a woman’s state of orgasm is much longer than that of a man. This has also been suggested that to achieve that state of orgasm, either self stimulation is needed or a highly skilled partner who can arouse the woman to that stage and satisfy her.

According to scientific research, most women require at least 20 minutes of sexual activity before the orgasm. If your man does not spend that much time in the foreplay, it is straight forward un-sexy. Your chances of getting pleasure out of the act are rare and you may straight forward not like it. Sex may seem like a chore when you know your man will not make an effort to pleasure you. You will be surprised how many women do not climax even in the best appearing relationships. This short coming of your man also further leads to widen the crack in your relationship which can soon shatter everything apart. Premature ejaculation, more than a medical condition is a willingness and option that your man must be ready to commit. Research survey showed that in casual hook ups, barely 40% women orgasm and men admit to ‘not care’ if their female partners did climax or not.

Second point is a step further into the act. Assuming that both you and your man are equally passionate about each other and making love is really an act of sharing quality moments of physical and emotional bliss for both of you. There can still be one reason why you may not want to have sex. While getting intimate, there are hundreds of things happening at the same time. Whatever you are wearing, you may not want to spoil it, if you are working on something important, you may not want to lose the flow of it, you may have just spread the expensive 2000TC Egyptian cotton sheets, you may have just come out of shower and may want to dry your hair before they turn into a frizzy mess etc

Particularly in bed, you may hate when your man steps on your long hair or you may feel choked if he is on top for very long, if his hands are really rough (lack of sufficient moisturizer or result of tough jobs) you may get hurt in literal sense, if he holds you tight enough to bruise you or if he simply does not care if you are cold. One may have a spasm in the feet or clamp in a muscle; it is not like porn videos in real life after all. When it comes to positions, there may be certain one that you do not prefer because of genuine medical reasons. Oral and anal sex needs very strong preferences.

No matter how many gifts your man shower on you or how much many times he says that he loves you during the day; you will hate his guts if he does carry on doing something in bed that you ask him not to. This is a male tendency to say things like ‘can you do it for me, my sake’ or ‘baby, I do everything for you, just give it a try’ or ‘I would do anything for you’, when they want women to do as they say. This is NOT love, it is manipulation. Even if you shut your mouth and carry on or let him carry on so he can climax and leave you the hell alone, ask yourself- was that making love? You may be surprised to know that this is ABUSE!

You have all the right to make choices in life, at work and even in bed. If you are being emotionally blackmailed or manipulated to perform acts, it is normal to NOT realize it in the beginning. Especially for women who are deeply in love with the man, they will do things against themselves to keep the man happy. This is actually the most common birth reason of abuse and rape in relationships. Women spend their entire lives trying to keep their men satisfied by doing everything possible and even the barely possible. This entirely kills a woman’s desire to be genuinely with the man and make pure love to him. If you are with a man who does only ‘his way’ in bed and makes up for his attitude later on by apologies and gifts, you are not with the right guy. You need help and grab the first opportunity you can to run away from such a man.

The core

The heart of any relationship is the ultimate faith that the couple shares. As a woman you feel sexy when your man does not make comments on every ass and boob he sees on the TV and when he does not care about who your friend is sleeping with. When you live with a guy, you get to know the real him. Making remarks on guys and girls on TV or in a restaurant is a common characteristic of both genders. Guys may have an extra eye to peek at women passing by. But men who constantly keep their eyes on a woman’s behind or bosom will soon itch you in the eye like a broken eyelash. And you will know exactly when it is OK and when it becomes too much.

Other example could be him admiring your friends or other women in words before you. There are certain acts like this which make women jealous and suspicious. Men certainly deny their act by saying ‘this is a part of being man’ but it is only up to you to accept or reject his reason. Actually a gentleman will never say such things which would make you uncomfortable or less attractive. But when it comes to jerks and perverts, the world has these in abundance. If you got one, drop him before you drop your self esteem.

All the other reasons make up the core of a relationship. In the heart of the hearts, if you have faith on your man and that he would never do anything to hurt you (on purpose), you will be one of those women who do NOT peek into the 102 EXCUSES book. For one reason or another if you ever are not willing to have sex, your man would understand that before even initiating the act. A woman who has given birth may obviously need some time to heal; no man needs to be told that. Or while on her period or when she is upset for any reason. When people say that they are upset and the partner immediately initiates sex, there is a dire need to rethink the whole relationship.

Sex certainly is a basic human need and the glue in a relationship but just like a child, sex must NOT be made a reason or tool to solve issues which already exist because whether or not you have sex; they won’t disappear. And if for those reasons, you do not want to have sex, you have all the right not to. Whenever there is a time that you do NOT feel like getting intimate, you can take a break but if this happens more often then you need to rethink the entire relationship because you deserve more care and he deserves all the sex he is not getting from you. If he can convince or manipulate another woman to be intimate with him by offering the same careless attitude- then good for him and good for you. Wish him good luck and say Sayo nara!